Forgiveness
by twilight1192
Summary: Seqeul to Failure. Edward begs for Bella's forgiveness. Bella doesn't blame him though. A battle of faults.
1. Dead

**Here you are ladies--your sequel. I'm nervous about this...**

**AN: I don't own Twilight! Who does...? Stephanie Myer!**

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****Edward's POV  
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Finally, my body responded as I heard Bella's heart beat stop.

_Just one more beat, _I thought. _I just need one more beat. _

There was no way I could live without Bella. I'd only made it this far because of the fact that she was _alive. _

I pumped Bella's body using CPR, and everything I could think of that I'd learned over my century of living.

Her heart beat once.

I leaned in; not thinking about my morals or the consequences this would bring me, and bit her neck, just above her faintly beating heart. Then it stopped—that beat didn't continue.

I tried once more to get her heart to beat, but to no prevail. I wouldn't let it sink in that I'd failed—I pushed that to the back of my mind. Finally, I allowed myself to _really _examine Bella.

She was covered in blood. The smell didn't bother me at all; the love I had to this stupid, stubborn, creature buried it all far away. Scars marked every part of her arms and thighs, and her hair was frail, breaking, a tangled mess. Her sunken face made me cringe—she was still unbelievably beautiful, but the thought that something had pushed her this far sickened me. What creature would put Bella through this Hell?

It was probably the guys at school, tormenting her because I had left. Or maybe the girls had finally gotten into her head and she couldn't take it.

I wished that Alice had seen this and sent me to her. I could have saved her.

I looked at her lifeless form; her once warm skin was dropping degrees rapidly. I would murder the humans responsible for this—I would rip them to shreds. I had to avenge Bella. _My _Bella.

I sat on the floor next to her bed, facing her while wrapping my arms around my knees.

Her face was so…bitter. It was almost an evil smile that was plastered upon her face as she lay there—dead.

I allowed myself to be absorbed by my anger for whoever was responsible. It kept my being whole. I had to keep the dry sobs from coming out so that I didn't wake Charlie—there was no way that I could explain my way out of this.

My control was slipping as I continued to stare at her.

I loved her with every fiber of my being; my whole existence meant nothing without her. Nothing would have any meaning anymore. I couldn't look forward to seeing her happy, alive, and human. Maybe not happy, but at least she would be living. That alone would allow me to continue, for her.

But how could she do this to me? How could she have believed my lies?

Of course she had. I had wanted her to have a normal life, I should have known that I had left too much of an impact on her. She'd left one in my life—one that could never be repaired nor replaced.

I hadn't realized 'til just now that I'd been hoping she wouldn't find anyone to replace me. The small shred of hope I had, was now blowing up in my face.

My body fell over and everything slowly turned into slow motion. I couldn't hold back the sobs—they racked my body and I shook involuntarily on the floor.

She was dead. All I could think about was that she was dead.

Bella, my happiness, my sun, my moon, my stars, the fire that lit me up—was dead. My sky, before her, had been a black, starless night. When she entered it, it was on fire. My whole world was lit by her radiance, the stars dancing everywhere—but now that was gone.

If I'd thought I was blind before her, then I didn't know what I was now. My sky was darker than black—a never ending pit, slowly, I fell down it. Torture, pain, despair, everything she'd prevented, now hit me tenfold.

Moans escaped my lips and I pushed them back in—Charlie couldn't be awakened. Not yet.

I sat back up, willing myself to hold in the tearless sobs just long enough to look at her again.

Each cut—they had to have a meaning. Bella couldn't have destroyed her body for no reason at all. They were probably for every time someone hurt her; all the pain I must've put her through. This was my entire fault.

I'd promised to love her, protect her, and stay with her for as long as she needed me. And I'd broken my promise to her—I'd failed her. I was a failure.

I failed to keep my family happy, to stay happy for them. I'd failed at protecting Bella. That was the most important.

I'd failed the only human, the only being, to ever catch my attention, to have me so tightly wrapped around her small, warm fingers.

Her fragile body laid unmoving, still and ice cold.

My body shook again with the sobs that would inevitably erupt again. My legs kicked out as I fell over with the weight of my pain. I sprawled out on the floor, with no hope of ever surfacing to reality again.

I let the pain overtake me. My moans now no longer just escaped, they burst out of me. Each moan was accompanied by another shake—more like an earthquake, really.

"Bella!" My moans turned into screams.

I couldn't take this anymore. I had to get out.

As if granting my wish, Charlie woke up.

_What in God's green earth is making that racket?!_

My body wouldn't move as I heard Charlie walking toward Bella's room.

**Review, please.**

**It's not done yet. And the ending may surprise you; I haven't decided yet. HEHE.**

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	2. Hope?

**A/N: I don't own Twilight. Der.**

**Edward POV**

As I lay there, unable to move, it occurred to me that I didn't care. Let Charlie yell at me. It didn't matter. I wouldn't be around much more anyway – not with Bella…gone.

Charlie was exactly 6 steps from the door just as I heard a heart beat. A weak struggling heartbeat. My body reacted immediately and sat up straight as a board. It occurred to me, as a ragged breath was drawn in the room, that it was Bella breathing. If my heart could have stopped, I knew that it would have. She was alive. Barely, and struggling to just breathe, but she was alive.

Before thinking through my actions rationally I picked her up and jumped lithely out the window. My feet were moving before I told them to, blazing through the night towards our house in the forest—I had to keep her alive. I couldn't lose her. _Again._

Bella's heart beat was steady now, but still weak. The venom must have moved quicker than I imagined; so why wasn't she screaming in agony? The thought wrenched my heart open, but I would _not_ allow myself to feel anything. I had to be numb. I would not allow my self to break while there was still hope. But I would not allow myself to hope either.

I reached the door to my house and smelled only Carlisle. Alice had a vision of this scene and evacuated everyone immediately.

Carlisle already had a space ready on the second floor. I raced up and laid Bella out on his makeshift hospital room.

"Now tell me exactly what happened." Carlisle began working on the cut, putting anesthetics on it, his mind racing through wild, horrible thoughts of fights and attacks.

"It's not what you think. She's done this herself. I ran to her window, but before I opened it I checked to see what she was doing, making sure she was awake." I paused swallowing unnecessarily. "I watched her swallow twenty pills before she cut her arm. She was close to passing out before she cut." I sat down, feeling uncomfortable watching Bella's body struggle as my throat ached with a deep thirst, urging the monster inside of me to reach out and drain her dry.

I forced the thought away, sickened by my selfish monstrous desires.

Carlisle had patched up the wound and he was watching her now, like I had been.

"I don't know what will happen now Edward. You're venom has spread through her blood; the only thing we can do is wait."

I sat beside Bella's body and touched her skin. The venom had spread, and the most I could hope for now was a successful change.

**3 days later.**

Bella was going to make it! Carlisle had said it, but I also had proof. Any moment now her heart would stop all together, it was beating its final beats.

Her body was no longer a sickening skinny. Bella's scars were gone, replaced with perfect stone white skin. She had lived through the fire – not quietly though. I shuddered, remembering her screaming thrashing body. It was horrifying watching to watch her, and even I had seen some terrifying sights in my existence. The death wishes were especially difficult, considering she had almost succeeded. But why would she have gone to such extremes? What heartless human could have crushed her soul so?

Carlisle had taken care of Charlie. He convinced him that Bella had come to our house deathly sick. The yelling he had heard must've been a dream. He'd believed the lie all too easily, though rather hard to get him to understand why we were back, and when we had returned. He wasn't happy about it, but he didn't object.

Waiting for Bella to finally wake did not help my patients. I had paced back and forth for the last eleven hours. This was complete torture. I needed to hear Bella. I wanted to see her smile again. I was ready to unleash her on whatever heartless human hurt her. Or, the idea I liked more, was for me to kill them myself. Whatever she wanted though, it was up to her.

My family had returned and stayed downstairs, afraid to be in my way. Everyone's thoughts were normal, except for Alice, who kept blocking me. Although it was annoying, I didn't push it. I honestly could care less. I realized then, that there had not been a heartbeat for a few minutes.

"Bella? Can you hear me?" I looked at her still form, she hadn't opened her eyes yet. She was probably trying to figure out what was happening. I would wait. The only problem was, I didn't know if I could.

Without opening her eyes she spoke slowly. "Edward? Are you here too?" Her voice was afraid, upset almost. Then her eyes shot open and immediately found mine.

Next was a reaction I hadn't expected.

Bella lay back down and smashed her head into the table repeatedly until it broke, the pieces crunching and shattering underneath her new strength. She sat up and wrapped her arms around her legs, pressing them into her chest. Bella's head rested in the space between her knees, tearlessly sobbing and shaking. The sobs were loud and piercing as I stared at Bella with horror filled eyes, mouth ajar.

"No! I can't escape you!" Wailing, Bella threw her hands up in the air.

Jumping up, Bella was directly in front of me. She was so close all I had to do was twitch and we'd be touching.

"You have to ruin everything! You ruined my life, and now you've ruined my death! All I wanted was to escape this," spreading her hands out in front of her she glared around the room, "to escape _you_." Bella spit out the last word, her pain-filled eyes turning on me, making me feel insignificant and unworthy to the power of this goddess she had turned into over three days.

After a moment, my lack of reaction annoyed her. She growled and turned around, punching me once in the chest. It wasn't as painful as it was forceful; I fell backwards and hit the floor, creating a massive thud. Having the advantage she glared down at me before leaning down so her face was inches from mine.

"Do you have _any_ idea what you did to me? The _pain_ you caused me?! You see these scars –" she stopped abruptly, realizing she had no more scars.

"They're gone!? Are you kidding me?! They were part of me! They _were_ me!" Growling she turned and broke the chair I had been sitting in for two days. Growls erupted from her chest, shaking her whole body, looking more like a werewolf then a vampire for a moment.

I wondered, momentarily, why my family hadn't come upstairs yet. Alice had probably seen she wasn't going to hurt me, just yell. The thought of my family made me grind my teeth together—they were listening to this, all of it.

Bella took a deep breath and walked back over to tower above me.

"The scars had meaning Edward." The yelling had stopped, but it was much worse, this was. Her voice was dark – menacing, and quiet. I'd rather she go back to yelling at me. "Each one had a reason. You don't even care!" Bella threw her hands in the air and went to the corner opposite me in the room, sitting on the floor, knees tucked to chest again.

"I'm sorry for yelling." Her voice was just above a whisper now, I could still hear her perfectly though. "It's not your fault. It's all mine. It's always been mine. I should've known death would only _increase_ my pain." Bella shook her head and starting dry sobbing, quietly.

Finally I stood up. I couldn't think. This outburst had _not_ been expected. I thought she was furious because of all the pain I'd caused her, but she had been furious because I _ruined her death_?!

Bella thought the reason I left was her fault. She was the one to blame for the pain. Bella thought I didn't care. She was sorry for yelling.

She was insane!

"Bella, this is my _entire_ fault." I spoke slowly, and moved to her slowly, about human pace. "It is _not_ your fault. I'm the one who should be sorry. I didn't realize I was the reason you cut…"

Immediately, Bella stood up again, and as if her action of standing was a jolt to my brain, realization hit. Bella was in pain because of _me._ Not some pitiful human; _me._

Her steps were quick, faster than I thought normal of a vampire, and precise. She was in front of me in less than half a second. I resisted the urge to step back, and controlled my facial expression so that it was smooth and calm. I was afraid of her reactions.

"Edward, you were _every_ reason. It doesn't matter though, you don't love me. You never loved me. Stop putting on this show." Bella's eyes were wet with the tears that wouldn't ever spill. "Is it not good enough that I'll be stuck with these thoughts for all eternity? Do you have to make it worse by pretending to care?"

She shoved past me and, before I could stop her, jumped, gracefully, out the window.

I stared at the now empty room, frozen. Before saying anything to my family, I jumped out the window and raced after Bella, a newborn vampire.

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	3. Past

**Hello people! I'm back! Well, I think. I have nothing tonight so I am writing, because I can! I'm in two musicals and a play so I'm REALLY busy. Sorry that the updates are sooooo slow.**

**AN: I will NEVER own twilight.**

**Bella's POV**

Running through the forest, my feet barely hit the ground. I couldn't think. I had no idea where I was going. All I knew was that I had to get away from Edward. After all that time, all the pain I went through, he decides to return at the end. Being a vampire with a dead heart didn't stop it from breaking, again. I had to focus on the forest for fear of sinking into sobs on the dirt floor.

I could feel Edward following me. Under my feet I felt the vibration of him attempting to catch up. _Hah._ Like he could ever catch me with this strength.

As I ran I remembered my last thoughts. Vividly I remembered Edward's horrorstricken face in the window. He wasn't ready for what he came back to. I recalled the last tug my heart gave. I'd longed for him to save me…deep down. I suppose that's karma for you. I was now stuck in this perfect body, and still not perfect enough for Edward.

I felt myself slow down. I had to confront Edward about this.

Deciding that was a bad idea I sped up and ran faster, still not sure of where I was heading. I didn't want to talk to him. I couldn't.

A huge tree was about 3 steps away, I jumped into it and hoped Edward wouldn't follow. I started jumping trees now before he could get up here, as well. As soon as I was about a mile away from where I started, I sat on a limb and held my breath. An unwanted memory made it through my tightly closed mind.

Edward had said that vampires could hold their breaths indefinitely, it was just uncomfortable. I cringed at those times. When we were just getting to know one another. I had but all of my trust in him. My small, fragile heart had used all its strength to love him – to love every bit of his perfection.

I could hear Edward sniffing me out but couldn't move.

Remembering the conversation brought more horrifying memories flooding back. I couldn't stop them now so I shut my eyes, tucked my knees to my chest, and watched every lovely time I'd had with Edward Cullen.

**Edward's POV**

There was no way I could lose Bella now. I'd followed her halfway through the state. A newborn couldn't' get away from me that fast.

I was still jumping through the trees trying to find her when I could no longer hear her. She must've stopped in a tree. Her breathing was inaudible so I started to sniff Bella out. Deer, birds, mountain lions, bears, and few other animals attacked my senses first. Smelling past that, I finally caught Bella's scent.

As fast as my feet would pull me I jumped to the tree where Bella was at. When I landed on her branch she didn't move. Bella had her knees tucked to her chest, eyes shut, and mumbling while rocking back and forth slightly.

I sat as quietly as possible and watched her. I looked at her beautiful face first. Beneath the new vampire Bella I still saw my beautiful human. Her balance now was perfect but I knew she was still Bella.

"No, no stop." One of her mumbles became coherent.

So badly I wanted to reach out and stroke her hand as I would've if it were the past. How I wished I hadn't made this stupid mistake…I would have to wait for her to be ready.

So I sat longer. Looking at her body now, I realized what Jasper and Emmett had talked to me about. I was more than just hungry for blood now. Bella's once, hard to control myself, curves were now, almost impossible to control myself, curves.

"I love you, too" She laughed quietly. Her whisper almost unheard by my sensitive ears.

Was she hallucinating? I wanted to snap her out of it. This was almost worse than her being a human. My impatience was growing stronger with each second I waited for her to stop mumbling.

More than once I heard Bella saying bits of conversations we'd had in the past. Maybe she was remembering times when I was still in her life.

Hoping she would give me the chance to prove to her I was sorry, and that I never stopped loving her, I waited. I sat across from Bella and would not move until she was ready for me.

Bella's eye's shot open and immediately looked into mine.

"We need to talk." Bella's chime-like voice broke the too long silence.

**Very very short. Sorry! I'm tired and I'm not sure where I'm going. :D lol**

**Review please! Honesty is my policy.**


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